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[alexseanchai]

Dead comm is dead. *pokes at it*

Hi, I'm Ellie, and I have problems with buying things on impulse. This may be related to my thousands of dollars in credit card debt. I have a full-time job which, after monthly expenses, gives me four hundred a month to pay down credit card debt with. Somehow the debt keeps not going down. Does anyone have suggestions for ways to convince myself I don't actually need any of the books and probably don't need any of the crafting supplies I buy?

Comments

[zillah975]

What helped me was to figure out what I was actually doing. Now, it may be that all you're doing is having impulse-control issues, in which case maybe redirecting the impulses to other places? Like, when you have the impulse to buy something, go do something else you enjoy instead -- pick up one of the books you already bought but haven't read yet, or watch a favorite movie, or call a friend, or write a story, something like that.

For me, my impulse-buying was a control thing. There were things I wanted or needed that were out of my control, that I couldn't get, but buying something, that was in my control. I walk in the store, I pick something out, I give them my money, and the thing is now mine. It was like a drug, and also with the nasty hangover that drugs can give you.

I could never convince myself I didn't need the things I wanted. Either I knew I didn't need them but I couldn't stop wanting them, or I felt too strongly that I really did need them. In the latter case, once I could sit down and show myself how it was that I didn't need it, I still felt like I needed it.

So the only way I could stop was to find something else to focus on. For me, it was something I could control: I started writing stories. This gave me that same sense of control that buying things did. If your impulse buying is really about something else, figuring out what that is may help you figure out how to redirect it to something that doesn't cost money. If it's just about wanting things, then maybe just finding a way to distract yourself with something else you also want or enjoy, something that costs less or (preferably) nothing -- like reading, or movies, or calling friend, and so on. Think of it like breaking any other habit, like smoking or biting your nails. It takes work, and mindfulness, and also a great deal of self-distraction or redirection. :)

I'm sending you good thoughts!!

[alexseanchai]

This...shall take contemplation. Thanks!

[erika]

Thanks for commenting about this. It's already helped me!