I thought we'd be better at this by now
Jun. 29th, 2012 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
delladea posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
actyourwageThis borderlines on relationship advice, but it involves money.
My husband and I moved in together before we got married, so I had a bill-sharing system that didn't require us to combine finances. Any mutual expenses (utilities, groceries, etc) were recorded on a spreadsheet, and at the end of the month the amount was tallied, split and whoever paid more of the bills got a check from the other to balance things out. It worked so well for us at the time we didn't bother changing this system after we got married.
Before building our house, we worked hard to pay off what debt we could. Prior to taking out the loan to buy our land, the only debt we had was a credit card paid off monthly and his student loans. Any extra went into savings.
Then we get our house built which is far far away from my job. We did decide to get a joint account for the sole purpose of paying bills, we still had our own separate accounts. I quit my full time job to try my hand at contract work, then I find out I'm expecting our first child. Since we both planned on me being a stay at home mom for at least the first few years, I didn't bother trying to find anything other than short term contracts. Most of my time was spent trying to get things in order around the house and with our finances.
How things work right now is:
One upside is our savings account is slowly getting bigger, but that's not the way I want to do it!
Now that our daughter is here and almost three months old, our expenses have increased in some ways in decreased a bit in others. We've also started raising sheep and I have no idea what's been spent on that because it's all come out of his account. I have asked him and he's given me some receipts, but that is a household expense and it should be coming out of the household account. Basically he's starting to pay some household stuff with his personal account which gives me an inaccurate picture of where our money is going. I'm the person responsible for paying bills and tracking where our money is going, so I need to know about everything that gets spent.
I'm posting here because I really really feel we need to just combine everything and use the joint account. We've been together for over seven years and are pretty much stuck with each other now. Both of us have similar attitudes on money and have never had a problem getting important expenses paid.
The problem is going to be selling the idea to my husband. I have a feeling he may view it as a loss of control, when I really don't feel that is the case.
For those of you who have SO's and only use a joint account, how do you make it work? What rules do you have for each other (if any)? How do you handle personal expenses, like (for example) buying new jewelry?
My husband and I moved in together before we got married, so I had a bill-sharing system that didn't require us to combine finances. Any mutual expenses (utilities, groceries, etc) were recorded on a spreadsheet, and at the end of the month the amount was tallied, split and whoever paid more of the bills got a check from the other to balance things out. It worked so well for us at the time we didn't bother changing this system after we got married.
Before building our house, we worked hard to pay off what debt we could. Prior to taking out the loan to buy our land, the only debt we had was a credit card paid off monthly and his student loans. Any extra went into savings.
Then we get our house built which is far far away from my job. We did decide to get a joint account for the sole purpose of paying bills, we still had our own separate accounts. I quit my full time job to try my hand at contract work, then I find out I'm expecting our first child. Since we both planned on me being a stay at home mom for at least the first few years, I didn't bother trying to find anything other than short term contracts. Most of my time was spent trying to get things in order around the house and with our finances.
How things work right now is:
- Husband gets paid every 2 weeks, gets direct deposited into his personal checking.
- Husband transfers X amount into joint account.
- We pay everything out of the joint account except for auto/home insurance and oddball expenses which come out of his account.
- End of month comes, and a mad scramble ensues to get everything paid, usually involving temporarily transferring money out of joint savings.
- Next time husband gets paid, repay savings account + $20 penalty.
- Repeat next month.
One upside is our savings account is slowly getting bigger, but that's not the way I want to do it!
Now that our daughter is here and almost three months old, our expenses have increased in some ways in decreased a bit in others. We've also started raising sheep and I have no idea what's been spent on that because it's all come out of his account. I have asked him and he's given me some receipts, but that is a household expense and it should be coming out of the household account. Basically he's starting to pay some household stuff with his personal account which gives me an inaccurate picture of where our money is going. I'm the person responsible for paying bills and tracking where our money is going, so I need to know about everything that gets spent.
I'm posting here because I really really feel we need to just combine everything and use the joint account. We've been together for over seven years and are pretty much stuck with each other now. Both of us have similar attitudes on money and have never had a problem getting important expenses paid.
The problem is going to be selling the idea to my husband. I have a feeling he may view it as a loss of control, when I really don't feel that is the case.
For those of you who have SO's and only use a joint account, how do you make it work? What rules do you have for each other (if any)? How do you handle personal expenses, like (for example) buying new jewelry?
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-29 10:35 pm (UTC)This is how we currently do it in theory. It worked great for us when we were both working, but then we also had a lot more wiggle room financially.